New is the Same Old: 21sts and my best dressed Oscar list...

I’ve been to a lot of 21st parties in the past four to five weeks and they all seem to follow a certain pattern. Some are the standard speech-before-cake soirees, some turn into high school reunions and others just seem like another excuse to get drunk or ‘trolleyed’ – a new term which I have recently acquired.

I’m beginning to think that there should be some sort of a handbook or a guide to 21st parties, both for the birthday girl/guy and guests. The first rule should be no matter how trolleyed you are (or how trolleyed you pretend to be) never bombard other people, especially people you haven’t seen since high school, with much too intimate details about your personal life.

For example, going up to a group of people who innocently ask why you’ve got two drinks in your hand is NOT an invitation to hear all about your love life. Person A, who will remain unnamed, recently did exactly that when talking to my friends and I.

“This other drink is for my girlfriend, we’ve been together two weeks. TWO WEEKS! It’s fantastic you know it’s so much easier than my last relationship which lasted a year and a half. Boy she was a bitch. A HUGE ONE! I mean I know it was ages since we broke up but man compared to my last relationship, B is just so amazing.” ‘A’ sips on some milky cocktail concoction.

Cue is-this-guy-drunk looks to friends. Also cue attempts not to laugh.

The second rule is that no matter how bad the party is, or how bad you think it is, you can’t leave until the cake is cut and speeches are made. This equates to my rule of one hour minimum, two hour maximum. Of course you can stay longer depending on how much your feet hurt, how much fun your having, how good the company is.

The third rule is that it’s polite to at least pretend to recognise people you ought to know. You can save the man he/she’s put on a lot of/lost a lot of weight for the car ride home. This also means that if person ‘A’ says to you, “You went to high school with us didn’t you?” and asks for your name you have to provide your real name and not a fake one.

Rule no. four, if your parents have to make a speech it has to be embarrassing. This one is a bit of a given but just in case they need prompting.

Fifth rule, whatever drink you can’t finish can be passed onto the birthday guy/gal. They are meant to be ‘trolleyed’ at the end of the night. Even if you can hardly tell.

Finally the last rule is to not take it too seriously, if you have low expectations you can never be disappointed. This goes for the birthdayer and the guests. The 21st is just another party after all. No matter how built on a pedestal it appears to be and how you’re meant to be an adult entering the real world with a key to your future, it’s just another year older. Just because you're physically older it doesn't always mean that you're an adult mentally or emotionally. I'm stuck in a body of a 15-year-old and I feel like I'm 30. But that's just me.

I’ll keep all of this in mind when I turn 21 in approximately eight months time. And no one stays longer at my ‘do’ than two hours. I should mention that I have one more 21st to go and I'm looking forward to it. Why not?

Lastly to prove that I’m not all that cynical here is a picture of the best dressed ‘couple’ at the Oscars. Mr Reeves and Ms Bullock, my my my. They’re not really a couple they just presented together but let the rumours fly.